This is what’s getting me through today:
I was perusing this public list of people’s bucket list items, and I gradually realized that I’d done a lot of them. Like, a lot. It’s remarkable how a few bad months can make you feel like you’ve never done anything good your whole life. Or, like all the exciting, novel experiences and adventures in your life happened so long ago, on the other side of some awful schism in your life, that they may as well have happened to someone else.
As I scrolled through them, I realized how lucky I am to have done a lot of these things, and it’s really interesting to see what things people hold on to as life goals or dreams. For some, the items are so small that it made me take stock of how many of the things I take for granted (ex. laughing until I cry) are actually really valuable experiences.
My 2013 wasn’t as good as some other people’s, but it did have its ups in between the downs. And, while I toasted to 2014 by drinking sparkling wine and saying “Good fucking riddance” to 2013, I should probably acknowledge that I did, in fact, accomplish some stuff…I guess.
Things I did in 2013:
- Joined a writing group. I love meeting with my writing group. It’s a blissful hour that happens at the library every other week when I get to discuss writing and characters and stories and sci-fi with people who just get it, you know? It might be the only time I forget about all the other shit going on. Plus, it forces me to produce new material on a regular basis, and I think receiving and incorporating feedback (especially when it’s hard to hear) has really helped my writing.
- Finally wrote some stuff I don’t hate. I didn’t publish anything (though I’m on track to do that in 2014), but I did finish some stuff and finishing all on its own feels pretty damn good.
- Disembarked from a bad relationship. Related: started a new, much healthier relationship with a great therapist.
- Got to be the Best Maid in my best friend’s wedding. It involved a surprising amount of crafting, a whole bunch of tears, and the best party I’ve ever been to and it was amazing.
- Started a (hopefully long-term) volunteer gig that I totally dig. It’s at Story Planet and it’s spectacular.
- Moved downtown. I finally live somewhere so cool I don’t even care that my ceilings are too low for upright bookcases.
- Got a new job that fits my life a bit better.
- Adopted my first pet. He’s a hamster named Doc who refuses to pose for photos, sorry.
- …bought a PS3?
Okay, the accomplishments are kind of dwindling now so I’ll stop. My regrets include not writing more/faster/better (I think that will be a regret of mine every year), spending more time brooding and crying than enjoying life, falling back into unhealthy habits and not travelling more. Which actually creates a good starting place for what my 2014 is going to look like:
- I am going to write more/faster/better, and also remember that I do it because it’s fun.
- Every time I start feeling sad, I’m just going to stop being sad and be awesome instead.
- Exercise more and eat better.
- Travel SOMEWHERE.