Some things DON’T need to be said aloud (but I’m doing it anyway)


So, I wrote a really terrible YA horror novel when I was around 12 or 13. [Okay, confession: I was 12 AND 13, ’cause it took me a year to write it.] The whole thing was the result of consuming too many R.L. Stine and Christopher Pike novels, though I have no regrets.

Ten years later, I read a chapter from it at a session of Grownups Read Things They Wrote as Kids. AND! Luckily for me, the incomparable Laura Godfrey recorded the whole thing.

Now, luckily for you, I’ve decided to post it here. Enjoy!

Child of Evil: Chapter 15 by 12/13-year-old Zalina Alvi

P.S. Please remember that I wrote this as a child. Please.

Edward vs. Edward


In honour (?) of today’s release of The Twilight Saga: Breaking Dawn — Part 1, here is an old post I did about how eerily similar Twilight and Pretty Woman are. Enjoy!

8 reasons why the Twilight series is like Pretty Woman:

  1. Edward (in Pretty Woman) never eats or sleeps (almost never sleeps). Neither does Edward (in Twilight). In fact, Edward watches Bella eat in that restaurant, and Edward watches Vivian eat breakfast after their first night together.
  2. Bella has little to no confidence and is dazzled by Edward’s world. Ditto for Vivian.
  3. Bella gives up her “horrible” life to live in his. So does Vivian, for a little while, and we can assume that she continues to do so after the end of the movie.
  4. Edward (Twilight) sparkles. Edward (Pretty Woman) sparkles with money.
  5. Both Edwards are well-off with fancy things. Both Edwards “save” their respective ladies in a fancy, silver car.
  6. Bella and Vivian have friends who they think they’re better than.
  7. Bella and Vivian are both forcibly kissed by a guy — Jacob and Stuckey.
  8. Bella and Edward wait until they’re married to have sex. So do- wait, never mind.